Not reacting is the solution. I just want to reiterate the key thing here that Smoke picked up on which is that the A deliberately pushes our buttons so that we are the problem so they do not have to feel so bad about themselves, look at themselves, or it gives them an excuse to use.....whatever it is, I know that it is VERY validating to me because I thought either he absolutlely hated me or I was just crazy. Turns out I'm fine, I just didn't know it.