Hi Change ,
I'm sorry you found yourself drinking when most of the time you want sobriety .
Took me 10 years from when i knew i had a problem, i tried giving up most weeks and lasted 7 days sometimes . I got over 4 years now if i can can do it then i recon you can too the highway is broad and long , if you spin out you can pick yourself up and come and join in again .
You just got to keep on with sobriety , seems like your still in the fight so keep on doing the next right thing for yourself , sobriety is worthwhile , this is a long journey keep your eyes on the prize .
keep on
m