twofeets

hello
for the past year or so i have drank every single day
it's cost me 3 jobs, my physique, my families respect and is now killing my mind. i feel confused and slow
i have to stop before i do any more damage

my drink of choice has always been cider. whiskey or ale is a treat when i can afford it. a regular night would be 4 liters of cider, but eventually that stopped working. i'd start drinking after work and would feel sober by the time i went to bed. so i moved to 8% white cider and just drank till i blacked out every night

i also started drinking in the day, i'd have a beer on the bus to work, and i'd drink at work, just chugging beers whenever i found an excuse to slink off for a minute. i hid them above the ceiling tiles in the bathroom

tonight will be my first sober night for as long as i can remember. it's just past 10pm, shop shuts in half an hour so that's the point of no return. today has been alright, though i can't stop shaking. i have no sweating or nausea though. people have said to watch out for anxiety but it's something i've never had a problem with and i don't really know what the signs of it are. i generally feel ok but i know the effects can ramp up over the week

my appetite is enormous i've done nothing but eat all day
i'm kinda bored
i don't know many people thanks to drinking so i just needed to tell somebody

thanks for reading