(((Sleepie))) I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to say. I've lived with chronic pain for years. For many of those years, I railed against it. "It's not fair! Why me?! I'm sick of this?!" Did that help me? Not at all. Made it much, much worse. I get it. I really do, because I've been in that negative space. I just had to accept it. Well, I didn't have to actually, but I can tell you things got a lot better after I did.
I now consider myself very fortunate. Yes, I have to take anti-inflammatories, and I don't enjoy being in pain. Who would? But it is what it is. I have a friend who has the worst case of arthritis in Australasia. My pain is nothing compared to her constant agony. She is the most positive person I know, despite it all. I almost worship her (although I would never tell her that!) At some point we have to stop making life harder for ourselves through resisting reality and wishing things were different. It just makes it all so much worse. I say this with compassion and understanding, Sleepie. I know how hard it is. I just wish for you a different perspective. It may feel impossible, but that's just the persuasiveness of our thinking.