Ok sorry for the double post but I need this to be in the correct thread.
Obviously I am handling more than I am able to today
I am awaiting with horror, sheer unabated terror, my results. I am literally sick with fear. I self diagnosed one thing accurately that my boyfriend thought I was nuts about. But, I was right. People are always telling me I worry too much but I. WAS. RIGHT. I have scoliosis. I have seen this weird thing on my waist for years now and googled it and all the pictures showed what I have and said scoliosis. Every time I mentioned it to my boyfriend I got the same crap "everybody has asymmetries BLAH BLAH BLAH invalidation of sleepie's concerns blah blah". Same from my doctor but THEN he looked and came to realize yes, I have scoliosis which really clears up my many years of back pain for CHRIST'S SAKE.
They are testing me for a bunch of stuff and I am sick to think of it, why are these things happening to me, I have to get a dexa scan now which I couldn't afford, I lost an inch and they said that's not good so I'm probably looking at osteoperosis as well as whatever other horrors are in store. AND that was another thing I was freaking out about, I measured myself and was really upset that I'd lost another half inch. As usual, I hear the same BS, "Everybody shrinks as they get older"- yeah, IF THEY ARE ABOUT 80. And no, it's NOT normal, especially not at my age and I. WAS. RIGHT. Because then I'm getting an order from the dr. to get a dexa scan. It's over 500 dollars out of pocket and no way in hell do I have that kind of money. So any libertarians here you can be welcomed to watch my decline as you know I won't accept government assistance despite having paid into it for others in the past. Enjoy.
Despite quitting drinking my sugars are getting worse and worse. It crushing, simply crushing to go through all this only to reap the reward of poor health. That's what I get for quitting and going through hell to do so. No pink cloud for me, no good health or good looks- just things getting worse and worse as they always do.
I really don't see the point of quitting one bit today and had a really informative and pleasant info session on a number of craft beers at a local market today. So, when health issues and a 500 dollar scan or test that you can't afford are staring you in the face, yeah a ten dollar six pack and some relief look pretty d*** good.