Ahhh - this is a tough one. I'm retired and my husband works a seasonal job. (soon to end in a few weeks). When either of us shops, we check the normal needs or preferences of the other. He likes sweet treats (I'm diabetic), he likes beer (I'm an alcoholic). In my specific situation, my husband's job is physically grueling. He's 65 years old and is exhausted when he gets home. Because I'm not bringing any money in, except for my social security and he is out there working day to day, I try to keep the pantry stocked, including his sweet treats and beer. I know it sounds as if I'm the perfect wife. However, if my husband were not to have his sweet treat, or his beer, he would be leaving when he arrived home, to purchase such items and sulk when he got home. I guess I do it to avoid the sulk and the alienation.