Originally Posted by honeypig

Steve, you seem to have your mind pretty much made up as to what you want to do in this situation. You titled the thread "Appreciate advice, ideas please", but so far it is a litany of why the advice and ideas offered don't apply in this case. It seems you're looking to be told that yes, you should jump in w/both feet and damn the torpedoes, it doesn't matter that she apparently has a drinking problem and may or may not actually even be interested in you. (Really? Taking calls from other guys when she is with you is b/c she sees you as an "upgrade"? From what?)

And it's great that you feel compassion and sympathy, but how will that change anything? She is still an active A w/no desire to change (so far as you've said), and as such is not going to be relationship material, unless your idea of a relationship is a stream of lies and pain, followed by more lies and more pain.

I see you've been a member here for over 10 years. If you think you've gained enough wisdom and insight to "dance w/the devil" in this way, then go for it. You certainly do not need anyone's permission and/or blessing to do so.

Have you asked yourself why it is you feel so compelled to try to save someone who you really scarcely even know, and who apparently has no desire to be saved? In the end, it's not about her at all, but all about you...