Teatree - My father was an RA. But, I was the oldest child, very much responsible for my younger siblings. The youngest says she feels like I raised her more than our parents. I wasn't the one to get angry, but I dealt with the others that were angry. Probably didn't help me in the long run except for the fact that angry people at work don't bother me in the least!!
Expressing emotions with RAH is something that I covered briefly with MC. I think I have every right to have emotions. I should be able to be mad or sad or happy or neutral. I don't feel I have that right with him. If I get mad/angry he says that I have issues with communication. If I am sad..then I am blaming him.
I am not 100% sure where this marriage is going. I have stated before, I really think that prevents me from doing all the work that I probably need to do. I can change my mind in a span of an hour.
What I thought our relationship would be with AH sober has not come to pass. I am still kinda trying to reconcile that in my head.
I am, however, looking after myself. I make it a point to do things that will keep me from becoming depressed because I can see that being something that could happen quite easily.
Thanks for the thoughtful replies.
Blue