Rant Alert
About to let off some steam.
When our kids were young we spent years hiding the issues that my ABIL was having, but as they came of age it became apparent to them that there were problems. Now that they are young adults they're fully informed and were aware of yesterday's court session. After getting the information from my wife I had the task of talking with the kids about what the decisions were and, to the extent I'm able, explain what the implications are going forward.
As is the case with most of his nieces and nephews, my kids love him, but don't like him. That saddens me, but their respective positions about this have been formed by years of having to deal with his drunk behavior, sometimes when they were too young to fully understand. And now what was once a very promising and fun filled relationship between an uncle and his nieces and nephews has been soiled and there's really we as parents can do. This is a family wide issue that is consistent among all of us.
What really gets my blood pressure going is that he is stealing the golden years from my inlaws. They're in their 80's and worked extremely hard to provide for and raise a family with strong values. Now is the time when they should be able to kick back and enjoy their kids and grandkids, but they're overwhelmed with having my BIL living in their basement and having to deal with his unpredictableness. There have been family discussions about one of us having him live in one our homes, but as much as we abhor the burden he's placing on his parents there's only one sibling who offered to have him live with her and he refused. For the record, that sibling was not my wife and I'm fully on board.
We've given him monetary and emotional support, as have all of his siblings and his parents, but to date he's not made the decision to turn his life around and we (my wife and I) are not willing to bring his chaos to our home.
I know a post like this should be in the F&F area, but I want to keep my personal posts in as few journals as possible for easy future recall.