It is YOUR future, YOUR life that is at stake here.
I believe that we each have the opportunity, responsibility, and accountability for making our own choices to live life to its fullest and to give as much as we can back to the world.
When my then alcoholic husband of 20 years chose alcohol and porn, I thought, because I had married him for better and for worse, that it was MY responsibility to stay with him, to support him, and to fix him.
What I have learned, now, 3 years out of that marriage, is that that belief was arrogance on my part. I have no right to choose how someone else lives, even if I think I know better than they do what is healthy for them.
We are each individuals, and we are each in control of and accountable only for ourselves.
Your boyfriend sounds very seriously addicted to alcohol and drugs, and I have heard it said that heroin is the worst of the drugs to be addicted to. Until he, of his own free volition, chooses to be sober, he is chosing to be an addict, and he has that right.
You, on the other hand, are young, now in a four year college, which shows a history of commitment and accomplishment. You have your life in front of you. What he does or doesn't do is up to him, not you. It is a pipe dream that many of us have had that we can fix our addict if we only do X, Y, or more of Z for them. It just doesn't work that way, and we only have to own the consequences of what we do, not what the addict does.
Your boyfriend's efforts to make you feel guilty and responsible for his continuing addiction are smokescreens to divert the attention from what he is doing in choosing alcohol and drugs to a drama he creates about whether you are "good" or not. Google "gas lighting" on this forum, and on the web. That is what he is doing. It is a diversionary tactic, not an effort to own his own problems, face them, and conquer them.
No one can "fix" someone else. We each have to do it alone. I agree that it is time for you to move forward with your own life, to pay attention to school, and not to his desparate 3AM interruptions of your sleep and your life.
He has no concern for you or your college commitments or your dreams or your life. He only wants a soft landing when he gets caught failing, and then the chance to keep doing what he wants to do without a lot of flak.
Time to move on and be who you want and know you can be.
We're here with you, come often, and you'll find a huge amount of support. If you can get a copy of Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie, it is an eye-opener for those of us who worry about fixing our beloved addicts/alcoholics.
ShootingStar1