I finally realized that I wouldn't get to finish out my life if I kept going the way I was going. I played it forward and saw my kids not having a father if I kept drinking. They would suffer because of my selfish choices. They should never have to suffer because of my choices... Never.
Relapse after relapse, until I finally accepted that drinking doesn't have a place in my life any more.
You've got to get your control back over this addiction. As long as it is controlling you, it will always win.