I soon realised that it isn't about willpower. My self-will is sneaky and wants alcohol more than sobriety at times.
I accepted I needed help and went to AA, where I accepted that I am powerless (once I've started drinking) over alcohol. so it's the first drink that is my game of russian roulette and has the potential to lead me where I don't want to want to go to, but will want to go to once that drink is drunk.
I have accepted that there will always be a pilot light for booze for me, and I have accepted that I need to stay away from it, or carry on being the person I hate most.
I accepted that sometimes I will feel an urge to drink, and it is my responsibility to get past that. Accept that cravings are uncomfortable, but they won't kill me (I didn't need to detox by the way).
I accepted that things would have to change. I accepted that I would have to change.
Acceptance kept me sober. My will; my emotions; and my knowledge are all unreliable - they are all too easily swayed by my AV (alcoholic voice).
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Best wishes to you at the start of your sober journey.
