Long before I quit my addiction I thought if I could just stop my lies and deceit and get honest maybe everything (namely me) would be alright. I even considered therapy for my lack of honesty rather than address my addiction.
When I finally addressed my addiction it became apparent that getting honest would help me and my addiction. Honesty was/is an integral, essential part of recovery from addiction as far as I'm concerned.
My point... Get honest with yourself and your doctor and you might just find it goes a long long way to help your baby AND you. It might turn out to be the best thing you ever did...
I wish you both well.