I have figured out my problem thanks to all the great replies and other threads. It seems that I am like many many others that cant seem to tell themselves that they must never drink again. The forever part is hard to tell myself, I know that I am sabotaging my quitting efforts as I always tell myself that I will be able to have a couple drinks sometime in the future and the cycle repeats again. I don't have any real plan and that is probably why I am struggling more than I need to. I only started my sobriety in late may of this year (may 24th) and quit for 2 months. Then after trying to be a normal or in control drinker I have been off and on for the last 2 months or so, I usually stop for maybe 2 weeks then drink for a few days then stop for 1 week and on and on it goes. I know what I need to do but it is hard to say forever to myself.