Welcome. If you have an Aoca meeting you should go try it out. Other than that have you read much about Acoa? We have some great resources in the stickies posted above they can be really insightful. Another thing that helped me a lot was writing the memories here on my blog, you can read it if you like. (click on the number 24 under my name) Yes it's hard to rehash those memories but it does help heal.
I had an abusive childhood from a drunken father as well and understand your dilemma. I still have a PTSD from the beatings that came out of nowhere for no reason, anytime I hear loud noised, things falling over and people yelling my heart races and I have to talk myself down. Things will get better but not without work.
Is your Dad still alive and drinking? You are on the right track with the counseling and forgiving. We say forgiving doesn't mean everything is perfect and he didn't do anything wrong. It's just your choice to put it behind you for you, not him. It's great that you want to repair your parenting style. It's very easy to slip into that rage that we learned at our fathers knee (and hand). I had to struggle with that a lot too, it was very hard. I would have the rage if mine didn't obey but I tried to keep it under wraps. I was very close to becoming what I hated growing up. I had to deal with it by acknowledging it, which you have done, and then discipline myself and told them I was sorry, making amends as best I could as befits a child which usually involved my changed behavior.
My siblings and I are all on different pages and I have given up hope of any future with them more than the occasional call or meeting. It's what works for me.