Thanks for your support and advice. The thing is neither me or my husband are religious and we don't go to church, maybe this is something that we need to try.
I have a couple of Russian friends in here who I meet with every month and they're aware of my problems. I just don't want to involve them in the depths of my struggle.
His family, as I mentioned, probably wouldn't support my attempts to bring him to sobriety. In fact, I believe they are the root of his problems. His brother is an addict and his oldest son the same. Both live with elderly parents. Both screwed up their lives. Mom always has a drink ready for her son. Last time we were visiting them she took him to a separate room as if to have a private conversation, as I found out later they were taking shots hiding. They call me a controlling bitter b...., I just know. They believe I work my husband to death and don't let him drink and relax and enjoy life. They make jokes about me hiding bottles from him. They think its funny. At first when problems started I tried talking to her about her son, the reply was you're still young and deserve better so maybe if you don't like it you leave him. That's all, I never complained to her again.
Today is the 4th day he's missing, he said he'll be back in a week. He never called or answered my calls. I don't know where he is now and whats going on. Honestly I started feeling guilty and maybe its my fault. Maybe I pushed the limits that night, but at the same time I know it'll repeat if he doesn't change his ways because I have anger control issues and I can't do anything about it. I really try hard, sometimes it works and I just ignore him but that night I felt like I had to draw my border line and make him understand how hurtful it is. Now that I'm calm I know it didn't work, it made him only mad, so its like a vicious cycle we revolve in...