Hi Sinderos, Not sure how old you are but for most of us, our lives are a journey of ups and downs. Throw in a bout of substance abuse issues and it can be extreme ups and downs. I understand you are venting and you feel you are in an unsatisfactory situation in your life. Oh, how nice would being drunk be tonight to just forget about all the stress and unhappiness, right? Tomorrow all of those feelings will still be there and you will have added a headache and some guilt to the situation. You will thank yourself for not drinking tomorrow. With regards to you current life situation, it will be completely different before you know it. I'm glad you have some company in your dogs. They love you.