You are right Key. I noticed after a few weeks sober that my attitude towards life improves. I like myself better, I am more grateful, less fearful. And everybody around me feels better.
But then the anger and resentment gets a hold of me. And the negative self talk. I can still hear my mom's voice from 30 years ago telling me I should try harder...my dad telling me I'm a loser...my husband telling me that I'm a spoiled princess...
And those voices won't go away. They've been around for decades...I believed them, why wouldn't I believe them? They're my family...and if I'm not good enough for them, how can I convince myself otherwise? My parents taught me right from wrong, they gave me good advice, I always looked up to them...what if they were right?