You're not doing anything wrong
Unfortunately some of us have to battle with other things alongside our alcoholism.
It's not fair but there it is
I've really admired the way you've put yourself out in the world again, and on these forums Lesahr- that can't be easy to do if you're feeling depressed, but I really think it does help - I know it helps others when you reach out
I know how easy it is to think that the whole of the last few years have been unremittingly bleak for you too - but that's just not true Leshar - you have had success, and happiness, and you are fighting hard for some more.
I would say most of us would feel uncomfortable around drinkers for a while, especially those in our own family.
I cut contact for 2 years or so for that very reason, so you're not at all alone in this
D