I have to be honest, I don't think I'm going to make it.
Last night I came closer than I ever have since getting clean to using. Unfortunately the urge hasn't gone away.
Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of my mother's death. I also found out that my stepmother almost died Thursday and is still in the hospital. She won't tell any of us what the doctors are telling her. Also, the only way I found out was because I stopped by the house and found out that she is in the hospital.
I feel like I'm losing everyone ... both my parents are dead and I never got the chance to reconcile things between us, they both died with us not talking because of stupid stuff. Then I lost my kids ... not dead but I am dead to them and now I'm possibly losing one of the last people who truly cares about me.
I just don't know why I bother.