Nobody posted today, but looks like more than a few read. I hope that reading this may help a few in early recovery. I know my last post sounded like a normal person, but I'm still shaky. I remember vividly sitting inside my car outside of my noon meeting yesterday (which I left early with about 8 other folks- topic-relationships, NOT AA). If I turned right leaving the club I was heading home, LEFT would take me to my dealers. It was hard to turn right.
Had a coke using dream just a bit ago. Woke up in cold sweat and could TASTE it, yeah. When I first woke up I wasn't sure if I'd used or not. Took a while to figure it out. Dreamt that I found about 1/2 gram - that I shook the bag out and did it in one massive line. felt good. i am sick. can't wait for the craving to go away, it's been what since Saturday so only day 5. nose quit hurting though I'l still short of breath. Let one of the cats in to go to sleep with me. Big water and off to bed I go. Hope I can get back to sleep before morning light hits. gnight all. Please post if you can. Thanks