And Cali, thank YOU! Reading your post reminded me that I'm not alone in this and I'm not pathetic. I'm not crying, but I could. I'm just sorta mad. Mad that I have this dualism in my life. I love so Much about my life sober, that quickly disappears when I drink. Yet I still want to drink. I want to drink AND have the good stuff.
Anyway, we made it, Cali. I'm safe for the night and it sounds like you are too. Yay for us!