Wondering...
Hi guys...
Above all i knew this day would come.... It's been a while since he last did a drug test. Things have been going well and he has been clean for 4 months.
In this week he decided that he doesn't want to go to his NA meetings anymore because he "doesn't need it anymore"... he asked me about this and i said that his recovery is important to me but ultimately it is his decision whether he wants to go or not.
Secondly, he was supposed to work today (public holiday). But he decided last night that he wants to take the day off to go visit a friend and have a braai etc. I had prior arrangements for today, since he was going to work, which i could not cancel, thus i am not with him at this braai....
What bothers me is it's this friend that he was always using with... however the friend has claimed to be 100% clean for a few months as well.
I don't know. In my heart I believe that he is and will stay clean. But this whole day makes me very very uncomfortable. I know I can't watch him 24/7 and that i should trust him but he lied so many times before....
No idea how to handle this going-crazy-skin-crawling-anxious feeling....
Any advice?