Finally Committed
Hello, all -
I don't believe I've posted for nearly a year and a half now. I didn't want to be that broken record of constant promises and failure.
Recently, I've realized that my once great life has seriously spiraled out of control. It's all of the textbook stuff: my finances, my relationships, my career, my fitness, my health, and my drive. I completely let the vodka take over my life. I can't say I ever aspired to be Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. I remember seeing it when it came out and thought, "That's crazy!" Well... I can look in the mirror and see that guy.
I am three days sober and truly committed to giving this up for good. I went on a major bender ending last week before my girlfriend came home from a business trip, and I was very sick. As you can imagine, we had a come to jesus talk the next day (she is sober).
I realized just how far I have let things go in all of those areas. How close to the bottom do I need to get before I change my ways?
I have been attending AA, and I plan to keep going. I plan on signing on with a CBT therapist as well. I have a friend that has done CBT therapy, and he has been sober for a year. Additionally, I need to stay away from temptations, isolation, and events that I will know will a trigger for me. Like all of you say, we need to focus on all of the positives sobriety brings. I know how important it is for me to start filling my free time with (and rediscovering) my hobbies.
I went cold turkey, and I think I am mostly of the woods. Luckily, my withdrawal this time was much easier than prior ones. I don't know why, because I was nearly up to 1L of sauce a day. I'm very thankful for that. Today is day three, and tomorrow I will not drink either.
Thank you for all of your stories and comments over the last year and a half. I haven't really posted, but I've been here reading. It is high time I take control of my life.
A wise man once said that the best way to get out of your hole is to stop digging.