I get what you're saying. Like, I'll decide I don't drink, but you don't tell me I shouldn't. Many times its out of concern, but sometimes there are other issues, like someone acting authoritative, like you described. The first kind of response is welcomed, the second causes resentment. You're in the best position to make that judgement call, since you know your relative. But I can relate, I deal with this kind of stuff in my family.