Rebellion
It's only been around 22 days or so (this time around) and fortunately, in the past week or so I haven't had a huge desire to drink.
This morning I was thinking about a close relative who is a competitive triathelete and major health freak. This person drinks wine fairly regularly but frowns on me drinking, which I understand.
But while I was thinking about how this person doesn't like me drinking I started to feel rebellious, like, "F off, don't tell me what to do, mind your own business." And at that point I really wanted a drink. My adreneline is still flowing a bit at the thought.
When I was younger, rebellion was part of the reason I started drinking. I always had problems with authority figures and always hated being told what to do, and drinking was a way for me to express that. And now I find myself wanting to rebel against my well-meaning family member.
What's up with that? I don't see a lot of people talking about rebellion (it's not in HALT for example). Anyone else felt like this before?