(Part of this was a reply to someone about her having her AV give her the dumbest ideas ever- "you have a headache, and a bottle of wine will fix that!" sorta thing...)
That's been happening (dumb AV thoughts and ideas) a LOT lately, and unfortunately, it's been winning most of them. "You're hung over cause you were an idiot last night- you KNOW I'm the only thing that'll make it all go away...".
I wish my (low dose) benzos would actually work to quiet down my anxiety more. I think this evening is a 'long walk with the dog in the woods' kinda day. I would be sooo happy if I could just make it without drinking from now until the wedding. I'm not even going to begin to psyche myself up or start believing (so I can be crushed) that I'll make it THROUGH the wedding without. I am just not (nearly) strong enough for that.
Pray, gang- please- that I make it through this week without drinking.
I will NOT drink today. Period.