Right. I understand about making demands --but this isn't a demand. I can see my life clearly without AH. I am happy with myself and by myself. I am complete without any man or any relationship. Where I'm at is that I am moving on. Either he can work with me or stay behind. The rut that I'm in is over and, if my marriage is over at that point, then so be it. I'm not angry but I am fed up with the lack of progress. AH says that he is in "recovery" but contributes nothing to our marital relationship. And, it *does* take TWO to have a relationship. I think this is my awakening to go on with life. Also, AH was still cocky about his demeaning behavior -- justifying it as a "boundary." Boundaries NEVER allow disrespect and to say anything to the contrary is ludicrous.
I make amends as I go along. I haven't had a problem with that. My problem was with denial which has landed me where I'm at. What I'm saying is that to have a relationship takes TWO people. And, if one of the people isn't contributing now (or ever in my case) then it's time to set your boundaries, make plans A and B, and execute those plans. THAT is what the counselor was saying. I'll have a much larger problem than a divorce if my small children learn that women are human punching bags and beholding to their master (spoken loosely) for what life has to offer.
So, I do take a bit of exception to the last post but I appreciate your input.