changes
Recovering from a hopeless state and mind and body is more than putting the cork in the bottle .
In my case looking back I put the cork in the bottle and became an Ex Drunk I stayed that way for quite a while and my interpretation of recovery or '' getting better '' was based on purely material gain ,I viewed sobriety with having more money, nice clothes ,nice car ,nice home , holidays abroad , to the outside world I appeared to be a changed man and all for the better .
Looking back I was really what is termed '' a Dry Drunk '' my material gain was based on dis-honesty ,I lied cheated stole and used any underhand method to achieve my aim.
AA talks about honesty , I was honest about my drinking and nothing else so I rationalized and justified my actions , funnily enough I only befriended like minded people and kept well away from the people who mentioned the steps or higher power , mind you in Glasgow Scotland at that time there were not a lot of people who spoke about the steps and a higher power in 1975 .
For twenty years I existed on staying away from the 1st drink and that was all , nothing much else ,deep down I was miserable and unhappy and very discontent .
The inevitable happened the 20 years felt like I had walked out of a drinking establishment in 1975 and walked round a corner into another one in 1995 and carried on where I had left off .
I carried on drinking on and off until 2006 ,that's when I threw in the towel and admitted defeat that I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable .
That was my turning point , honesty with myself ,I now know that it is impossible to stay stopped and be content and at peace with oneself if you act and behave and think the exact same way that I did whilst drinking .
A hopeless state of mind and body with grave emotional and mental disorders , looking back I strongly identify with that and I knew I had to clear away the wreckage of the past .
A recipe for living ,a new way of life towards the road of '' happy destiny '' I was one of those poor unfortunates who suffered with grave emotional and mental disorders , and do you know what ? I had the capacity to be honest and I have recovered .
Sobriety is a state of mind and in no way is it a sacrifice .
Stevie