I am so sorry to hear that you have relapsed, Mera.
Really great advice here, as usual and in true SR style.
The good news is you are here and posting; that screams loud and clear that you haven't given up. As others have said, this is the time to really beef-up your tool box. Go to that meeting of which you spoke; try different methods and techniques; find one you think resonates with you and throw yourself into it.
You are a lovely young woman, Mera; you are worth it.