Hi rbotlove.. sorry to hear about your troubles.. as an alcoholic my self i can tell you that his emotions are not accurate (im assuming hes alcoholic) with alcoholism we tend to try to protect or pride and in doing that we attack the people we love the most. Its a most unfortunate situation.. the manipulation is really not intentional its the disease talking.. i have recently sobered up and am working hard in AA and step work with my sponsor.. i am currently going thru relationship crisis with the only women i ever loved and im heartbroken and i said all the things your bf said (when i was still drinking) now she wants time and space away from me and wants me to recover so we shall see.. this is truly a horrible disease that affects all involved unfortunately