Secret drinker I can totally relate to how you're feeling I too am in the same situation. I live in a village where everyone knows each other. There are two shops of which I alternate to buy wine and sometimes travel further because I'm so scared people will start gossiping.
My 12 year old has made comments like " you don't listen to me because your always drunk" it hurts!!
I have been drinking a similar amount to you. I know eventually it will kill me as well as the smoking.
As for excuses .... we could write a book of them between us .... good day, bad day, happy, stressed, Friday, Saturday, its sunny, it raining, good TV, nothing on TV. ... The list is endless.
I am spending too much too am going over my budget to buy wine.
despite all of this ..... i still drink!!
You are not alone xx