Originally Posted by
Blue21 
Hi guys...
My story is probably very similar to many others... however I am completely overwhelmed and in shock at the moment....
I have been dating this guy for almost a year now.... i know that he used cocaine a couple of times before we dated... but he promised me that it was only a couple of times and that it hasn't been happening whilst we've been dating. I believed him but i kept getting these funny feelings...
Sometimes he would be extremely depressed and moody and paranoid and other times he would be sooo happy. And even though he has a good job he never has any money....
I started getting worried when his moods became worse... so i checked his wallet this week... and found a folded square piece of plastic, wrapped in toilet paper. Inside of the folded plastic was white powder residue... i tested this with a swab test that i bought from the pharmacy... and it tested positive for meth and cocaine... i couldn't believe it so i purchased two more tests today... positive again...
I asked him a couple of times this week whether he was clean.. he promised me that he was... but he got mad and said that he was dissapointed in me that i dont trust him... because i kept on asking...
I just left it at that... he thinks everything is fine now... and that we are fine... but I'm kinda freaking out... dono what to do... surely if i tell someone (like his parents) it will turn his life upside down...? But he won't admit it to me.... I want to help him... but i dont want to ruin his life... please post of you have any advice... I have no idea how to deal with this...
Trust is an important thing in relationships. Trust has been broken. He's lied to you more than once, it sounds like. And while I realize that most people lie because they are afraid of what will happen if they tell the truth, it's still a lie. He may be lying to himself as well and that's called DENIAL. Right now, it sounds as though he does not have a true personal conviction to quit. But his "bad moods" will only likely get worse as that is how it progresses.
You can't (in a healthy way) live your life in a constant state of wondering whether or not he is clean. That's crazy-making. It's not too much different than when someone cheats on you and that leaves you constantly worrying if they will be true or whether they are cheating (again). It will eventually wear you down and make you unhealthy.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship in which we love the person, but can't abide by some of the things they do.