Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
Hi, and welcome. I don't think your husband is "making a conscious choice to abuse himself." Alcoholics have lost the ability to control their drinking, and their thinking becomes very warped in the process. Nobody "chooses" to be an alcoholic.
I hope you will find an Al-Anon meeting and stick around this forum. We all understand what it's like, and you can learn some ways to make your own life better, and get your head clear so you can decide how you want the rest of your life to look.
Alcoholism is progressive, as you've already observed, and unless and until he is ready to quit drinking--something that doesn't appear to be happening anytime soon--it will continue to progress.
For the first time in a very long time, I don't feel so alone. I want the best for him, but it's hard to be kind when you're constantly belittled. I will find a meeting. I actually was afraid to even come on this forum, because it validates that all of this is real. Again thank you