Originally Posted by
kellymh24 
Hi, guys.
It's toughest for me to think long term and not just day to day. Never drinking again? Ugh, it sounds so sad and awful. I hate it. But then I reflect on all the stupid sh!t I do when I have just one. Because one actually starts with a quick 5 shots and then doesn't end until I'm blackout drunk and passed out.
And all the bs in between is flat out ridiculous. I'm mostly jealous of everyone that can have just a couple and go to bed or even just stop there. Why can't I just stop like normal people? .
Boy, I can relate to this, Kelly. My partner, who drinks maybe a glass of wine once a month, is drinking one right now, and I'm like, why not me. But of course, I know why not me: I might stop at one tonight, but I won't tomorrow.
I, too, have had a lot of professional success. I'm incredibly lucky that my drinking hasn't destroyed a career that I love. But I'm also realizing that I have allowed that success to delude me into thinking my problem wasn't "that bad." As someone on this board once noted, high functioning is a stage of alcoholism, not a type.