Kimmi.....it seems that since he started his recovery program (after you threatened to leave him).....that HE has seemed happy and is "doing well"....while you have become more miserable. He has this new focus in his life...meetings, friends and others that he relates to.
It leaves me wondering if You feel left behind....with not having any of the hurt and lies, and other stuff that you put up with for so long, recognized? No amends and appreciation coming your way. After all, wouldn't it have been your due for him to be grateful for what y ou have done for him and to hear h im express true sorrow for the pain that his drinking has caused you?
I say this because this is almost universally common feeling that the long-suffering partners of alcoholics experience AFTER the alcoholic enters recovery.
This usually comes as a shock to the partner. Most partners are completely unprepared for the kinds of feelings that appear in their A's recovery. They do not realize how much the dynamics change in the relationship after the drinking is taken away as the focus of their relationship revolved around. Take away the drinking...and they are completely, and, unexpectedly, boomschwaggled!
They didn't realize that their relationship was a "dance" that they did together...kind of like the Argentine Tango. Moving back and forth almost in unison.
When one person in a relationship changes...and the other one doesn't...that brings discord into the relationship. (any relationship).
It is said, by most, that the first year (especially) of recovery can be more difficult than the period of actual drinking....especially for the partner. One would expect the first year to be tough for the A---but who k new that this was also true for the partner?!
Have you ever talked to your husbands about your feelings...?
dandylion