I can see that you're just asking a question that has been on your mind for some sort of clarity in understanding your husband better....
But from where I stand, alcohol sucks. Even if my man were not a true alcoholic, if he decided he needed to quit and/ or get help doing that, then by all means, he better quit.
I find it hard to accept all the nostalgia that we place around drinking and drinking activities in the face of all the horrible things that can come with it.
On a side note, I wouldn't say that I myself am an alcoholic. However, 3 of my parents are/were (step parent, and 2 blood parents), so it is highly likely that I may choose a similar path. I do find myself battling the idea that I could use a drink when I am stressed. That line of thinking is a pretty thin line between "normal" destressing and knowing that I have some voice trying to convince me that I actually NEED a drink in order to de-stress.
We all have go-to's to help us de-stress. Some of us tend to choose destructive ways of coping.... I think an alcoholic has to learn how to cope with life on life's terms without turning to alcohol.