Rant Alert
Last Thursday morning I took another CT scan to determine whether or not there was any change in my lung nodule. The imaging center told me it would take between 24 and 48 hours to get the results to my pulmonologist, meaning she should have received them by Saturday at the latest. She should have definitely had them by today, but I think her office is closed because my phone calls have gone straight to voice mail and not to the receptionist that normally answers the phone. While that may be rational, the fact that Monday is drawing to a close and I still don't have any information is not making me a happy camper. Furthermore, she knows I want to discuss other treatment options for whatever has diminished my breathing capacity because the current protocol is not working. Is my asthma getting worse, did my recent bout with pneumonia really screw up my lungs, has the nodule increased and is now starting to have detrimental effects on my lungs? Any of the aforementioned, all of them, or something else out of left field? I absolutely hate the unknown stage and am becoming increasingly discouraged with her because I truly get the sense that she is not viewing my situation with the same amount of concern that she should be.
In some sense I can understand that because when I go to her office the waiting room will more often than not have a person tethered to an oxygen tank or is winded just walking into one of the examination rooms. Clearly, my situation is different by an order of several magnitudes, but it's my body, my life, and I want to know what's going and, more importantly, figure out an effective solution.
I'm not looking to turn back the clock 30 years, but getting back to where I was a year and a half ago when I had the cardiovascular capacity to run marathons at a faster pace than I can run 5 miles now doesn't seem to be seeking too much. Bottom line, I've been under her care for well over a year and not only have I not seen improvement the trend is going south.
I'll be honest, the frustration has given my AV ammunition that's particularly strong today and I'm in at best hour to hour mode. I'm countering with logic and determination. Drinking will in no manner change the fact that I've not yet heard from the doctor or encourage her to contact me and regardless of what the findings of the scan are alcohol will only impede me getting healthy.
Thanks SR. There's really nobody I can call at this moment to voice my frustrations, but being able to come here and vent is tremendously helpful.