GREAT WORK MARIAH...!!!!
Awesome stuff, I know how hard it is to get back on the wagon and string a few days together.
I just went for a walk for lunch. Out the back of the school here there are monkeys, snakes and cows. It's a great walk.
I was thinking of when I first got here. I couldn't stop drinking then. I would have a fight with myself all day then go to the supermarket and buy a bottle of beam, the chinese staff would just laugh! Then I'd but small bottles of coke and mix them up, stash it all in my school bag and then walk home drinking a buddy bottle of coke...
Get smashed listening to rock music, urinating in the sink, spitting on the floor, smoking inside the house, music thumping through the house.
My father had cancer, I was in a toxic relationship, and when I look back now I can see I was in hell.
Anxiety and depression in an all day cycle.....
That was 2008-2010....
This was the pinnacle of my self sabotaging..... I was playing A grade.
Mind you I'd been drinking hard since 1995....
I couldn't get out of the loop.
I tried AA, counselling, doctors, mentors, yogis, meditators...etc...
Nothing, nada, zip.....
What was all that....
What happened....
How did I end up in such a state, so out of touch with the reality I have now.
The reality now is I couldn't even imagine drinking a bottle of beam a night.....
It was blocking out the truth is what it was.
I have to live very close to the truth , of my true self, otherwise I have to drown the voices out......To be sober and free I have to be myself...!!!
Something like that anyway......
stay tuned................