Oh gosh I'm in tears. I wasn't expecting so many replies. Thankyou!
You are so right, so many people in this town probably already know. I go to the same bottle shop every single day to buy my wine (I don't buy in bulk because ofcourse, I promise myself these bottles are the last, that I'll stop tomorrow), so I'm always bumping in to people I know there.
I am carrying extra weight. I'm under 30 and look like I'm 40 because of what's it's done to my skin over the years.
Both my parents are alcoholics. It killed my dad 7 years ago and mum has all sorts of health problems yet still gets people to smuggle vodka into the hospital.
So I grew up seeing my parents abuse alcohol, just like my kids are seeing me.
I just drove my kid to school and as usual, I had to take the back roads because I still feel drunk. This is not who I want to be anymore. I have had enough.
I read in here last night that people use colouring in for something to do with their hands, I'm going to give that a go tonight as I used to enjoy doing that as a kid.
Deep breath.
Today is day 1. I'll be logging back in tonight when I'm itching to get my kids out of bed so I can drive to the bottle shop after I'd promised myself I wasn't going to drink tonight. (That's happened so many times).
Thank you all so much for your advice. It's nice to be understood and not judged.
I'll check out the September thread too.