Hi SD,
I'm a mom too, and my child is around the same age as your oldest. She hated my drinking, and I hated what it was doing to our relationship, so I decided to quit and stay quit. First, just know that you *can* do this. You can turn things around. Accept that you have a problem and the solution is total sobriety. It may feel impossible right now, but believe me it's possible. I've only got about two months myself, but I'm already feeling a lot better and stronger, and my relationship with my child is already a million times better!
I'm not using AA or any other face-to-face support. Right now, SR is my only support. But I do have a thorough plan in place and it's worked well for me thus far. I started out by reading a lot of the SMART Recovery materials and using their tools. CBT works well for some of us. Maybe check it out?
You can message me if you need an ear. We are here for you.
Delfin