A little nervous---checking in first time
Hi everyone! This is my first day on the site, and my 6th sober day.
This is the first time I've stayed sober for this long by my own choice in 4 years. I suddenly had the realization (after a shameful low) that I would have to be insane to continue accepting the new rock bottom as the highest peak in life until the next spiral downward.
I wish I could say I'm feeling the euphoria of newfound sobriety, but it has not been easy all the time. I do feel that it will come slowly, though---I recognize that each day has in fact gotten better. One thing for certain is that every single day I have woken up after not drinking (even though I'm currently having trouble sleeping) has been unquestionably, empirically better than any number of days when I have woken up feeling like I'm on the edge of death, and then having to get through 8-12 hours of that.
I'm also here because I had an absurd thought today (that actually didn't feel like me at all, but seemed to override my rational choice without my permission), planning out in great detail how I would go stock up for my next secretive binge. Well, I'm here so that I'll report back tomorrow, "Nope, that didn't happen!"
And, Paper, mad respect for you! In these past 6 days, even though I've felt foggy, I've accomplished