Originally Posted by
kinzoku 
Day 11
Today was so busy, tomorrow is a day im not prepped for. Next week I have a surprise work assignment due. Cool.
I miss drinking a bit because it adds some drama and adventure. I know thats false, i don't actually want a beer.
I just feel really blah. Like I don't want to talk to the girl I'm seeing, I don't want to talk to my friends, I don't want to exercise. My fire is out man.
I relate to what you are saying about drink adding drama. I drink to numb my feelings, but also to feel....a bit of a dichotomy. I guess recovery for me involves finding passion in daily life, in the mundane for lack of another word. To learn to feel 'genuine' connection...which is very hard for me. Drink makes me feel externally so to speak, but deadens my souls ability to connect. That is learned in recovery...and through self acceptance I'm able to open up to others because I no longer fear rejection. Still working toward that but I have been there before...so I know what I'm seeking.