Hello Rbotlove,
Work towards peace. Work to figure out why you bothered to go backwards. Work to figure out why your choice of a partner is 'off.'
Yesterday I had dinner with a friend. She was talking about her current BF. She speaks that she never has been treated so well. She speaks about doubt that 'he's the one.' She's 54. She's bored with him because there is no drama and hate and fights. She can't figure out that at some level she doesn't think she deserves a kind and good man. She doesn't know how to be with a kind and good man. She doesn't know how to do peace, love and harmony.
Don't be my friend. Figure it out now.