Snooz, you are not a disgrace. Because if you are calling yourself a disgrace then you are calling us all a disgrace. We are all in this together. If I drank again tomorrow, I'd be right back where I was. Drunk or sober, I'm an alcoholic.
Recovery does get tiresome, you want to lay it down and just not have to deal with it. I get it, we all get it.
I understand why you feel so bad, but don't forget, alcohol makes us feel worthless too, so it narrows our solution down to only one thing - to drink again.
It's a frigging lie, Wendy. Alcohol is lying to you. You are not a disgrace and you do not need it.