Originally Posted by
Aellyce 
Do you have any sort of face-to-face support, Jeff? Any kind, not necessarily for alcoholism per se or only. If not, I would recommend to look for something, it really helps a lot, online can only do so much in my experience. I'm sorry you are struggling right now
I don't have anyone, and I'm too stubborn to reach out to anyone other than you folks. Too embarrassed of my failure. Thankfully my moments of despair from this morning have passed. I'm a little type A, but I can't force my current situation, I have to let it play out which leaves me alone with my thoughts....often. I try to be an optimist, but at times I do a fact check of my life, and the facts speak for themselves. Its the 2nd place trophy thing I spoke of the other day.
Many people have a bucket list, I don't have one. And the few I do have are a virtual impossibility. I'm not a materialistic person, I value experiences. And with the exception of a birth of a child, and complete financial independence (which I hoped to achieve with my business...that failed) I think I've covered everything. Maybe I need to dig a little deeper, but today was not the day.