Katchie,
My son told me that he was afraid to go to college because he didn't want to leave me with my now ex. My daughter picked me up from the ER and told me that I should have left him years ago.
They didn't talk to me for a few years when I finally did leave. They had actually told me before they stopped talking to me, that he is finally acting like a "dad" now, and that I was the emotionally wreck trying to blame them for everything.
In my opinion and don't quote me on this. They wanted a "dad", they needed that "dad" and maybe now, he is finally acting as one.
You know that you did your best, and you know you will keep doing your best. They feel safe still with you, no matter how much they want to be with him. It's a novelty thing for them.
Really don't know what I am saying, just know that they love you.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy