Katchie

Divorce and kids is hard. I'm the product of divorce and a dysfunctional home, so I get it, but this I don't get.

I've been patient and accomodating to my sons because I do understand the difficulty, but this is becoming unacceptable and I just don't get it -- it makes no sense based on the history of their dad and the many pleas from my sons to do something about it.

So, I've done something about it for myself and for them and have filed for divorce. I haven't lived with the man since the 1st of January. I've moved and setup a nice comfortable home. The problem is that my sons perfer to be at their dads house all of the time and have every excuse why they cant be here often during the week when they are suppose to be. I say they are suppose to be at my house because that is what my ex and I agreed upon. For the most part, the older boys can stay wherever they want because of their age. The youngest I do have custody of but the other brothers want to be at their dads house and so does he.

I feel very hurt by this because I know what we have been through. I remember them being angry with ME because I wasn't doing something to make it stop -- like I have that kind of power -- so I left him. HOW on God's green earth can they perfer to stay with him all of a sudden??? I have one son that won't even talk to me! Of course the son that won't talk to me is also the son that has been physical with me in the past. He was never going to live with me because I don't feel safe with him in such small confines.

I just feel like I'm the one who lost family, not the addict who made life hell. I don't understand and don't know what to do. Maybe there is nothing that I can do. I feel like I'm in a darned if you do/darned if you don't position. This isn't fair.

Thoughts?