Hello and a question or two
This is my first post. I am on Day 7 of no alcohol.
I have never been a super-heavy drinker, but my relationship with drinking is unhealthy. I drink because I have social anxiety, I drink around my family/friends, and I drink to celebrate, relax and have fun. I love pairing wine and food and love drinking beer. I generally keep it to the weekends but if I go out during the week it is all I can do to keep it to 2.
I can moderate a lot of the time but I find that I have obsessive thoughts. I always want to keep going. I rarely get really drunk these days but in the past I definitely did. What I am noticing lately is Monday (after drinking F Sa Su) I am anxious and depressed. I start feeling good again by Thursday and then I start the cycle over on Friday.
When I think about quitting forever, I get really anxious. I honestly can't imagine being with my family of origin, going to a wedding, etc etc etc without drinking. I am going on a big vacation in less than two weeks and will probably drink a bit there.
I was talking to one of my pals who has been in recovery for a long time. He asked me a bunch of questions about my habits. He told me, "you can get off at any floor; you don't have to go all the way down."
This resonated with me AND I feel resistant. That said, here I am really happy that I didn't drink all weekend.
Has anyone here quit before you "had to?" Not exactly sure what I am asking.