Originally Posted by
Uplifting 
I appreciate you sharing and have been following for a while now without posting, honestly due to shame for repeating my same patterns even knowing they are unhealthy and continuing my "addiction" with my ABF. So I think you are showing so much courage to keep posting as honestly as you have been, it is actually giving me and has been past few days too, some strength to be more honest with myself and break out of some heavy denial.. again. I also want to be more loving to myself and vow to do some of that today. Yesterday it was a 3 hour walk in the morning, I will continue to take one step at a time today, thank you again for continuing to share!
Uplifting: I don't know what to say about you saying that am giving you strength bc honestly I feel like I barely hve any strength within myself. But I will graciously take that positive statement bc I know from Alnon and the reading of being a ACOA that's something I don't do regularly enough. Am sitting my car fighting the urge not drive over to axbf house just to see him bc I know logically it won't change anything. My list disappearing acts lies no "closeness". (Sobbing) I was just there for him to know that somebody loves him unconditionally. Am better than that I deserve better (we) deserve better. You leave in your own time. Sorry I kinda started rambling